


Never Insult The Blonde

by mdelpin



Series: When We Take Different Paths 2018 [5]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Competition, Concussions, F/F, Fairy Tail: When We Take Different Paths, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Trash Talk, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, WWTDP, getting kicked out of bars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdelpin/pseuds/mdelpin
Summary: Natsu just wants to play trivia at the only bar left in town that will let him do so. When his best friend bails on him, he takes a chance on a dark haired stranger. What's the worst that can happen?





	Never Insult The Blonde

**Author's Note:**

> When We Take Different Paths Week 2 MLM/Slash  
> Pairing Natsu x Gray  
> Prompt: Smoking and Stars
> 
> Edited and cleaned up on 12/16/19

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

Never Insult The Blonde! 

Natsu Dragneel cursed as he took another wrong turn on his way to a pub called Fairy Heart. He stole a look at his watch - he had about thirty minutes to get there. The Trivia Night that had been advertised on their website started at 8:00 PM. He only hoped his friend Sting had already arrived and had gotten them good seats. He hated being stuck at a table that did not have a good view of the TV. 

They had been doing this for years, it was the way they kept in touch, and it was also a lot of fun - most of the time. Unfortunately, they had been banned from more clubs than they could count. They were both very competitive, and this led to some altercations, sometimes with each other but most often with some of the other teams. Most recently they had been banned from Blue Pegasus. Fairy Heart was the last place left in town they could go to. They had both promised to be on their best behavior this evening. 

Natsu finally saw the bright neon sign for Fairy Heart in the distance and relaxed - he should have plenty of time. He found a parking spot and locked his car behind him. As he walked towards the entrance, he noticed a guy standing outside smoking. He was tall with dark hair and skin that glowed in the moonlight. He was super hot, _so hot he was smoking_ Natsu thought to himself and laughed. More interestingly, the guy had taken his shirt off and hung it up on a nearby bush. 

Natsu admired the man's six-pack, he was very fit. The smell of the cigarette wafted towards him and his nose wrinkled in disgust. 

"Do you have to do that here?" Natsu groused. "It's a disgusting habit, and once it gets on your clothes, you can never get it off." 

Gray pointed at his shirt and made a point of exhaling towards Natsu. "Where would you have me do it then? I certainly can't do it in there." He pointed to the 'No Smoking' sign on the window. 

"Whatever man, all I'm saying is that it makes you look unattractive." Natsu shrugged and continued towards the door still focused on getting a good spot for the game. 

"You think I'd be attractive without it?" Gray grinned at him, and Natsu scowled before coming up with a comeback. 

"I'm pretty sure I could do better," he managed before making his way inside to look for his friend. 

The inside of the pub was dimly lit. There were lots of tables, a dance floor, and several TVs already set up asking for teams to sign in and enter their names. He looked around for the blond hair and horrible fashion statement that was Sting. Natsu himself was dressed casually, he'd had a meeting with a rock group about an upcoming show, and they did not tend to like suits. Quite frankly, neither did he. 

He continued to look for Sting with no luck when he suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quickly grabbed it and saw from the caller ID that it was Sting. 

"Where are you, man? I can't find you anywhere." Natsu walked into the pub's bathroom, trying to find a quiet spot to have a phone conversation. 

"Don't be mad, okay? I'm at Blue Pegasus, I forgot we got banned last week." Sting said quickly. "There's no way I can get to you in time with traffic being the way it is. I'm really sorry." 

"Oh come on, I reminded you like five times," Natsu whined, this was the highlight of his week. 

"I'm sorry, it's been a rough week. The owner said he'd let me in if it were just me, so I'll stick around here. That guy I told you about is here, maybe I'll get the nerve to talk to him." 

"Please tell me you didn't just ditch me to hit on that Rogue guy," Natsu grumbled. "What am I supposed to do?" 

"You know Natsu, it wouldn't kill you to make a friend," Sting pointed out. "There are always people at these things who don't have a partner." 

"Fine, but you owe me," Natsu grumbled, then thinking better of it he added, "Good luck." 

"Thanks. You too." Before he hung up, Sting added, "Don't get kicked out from there too, it's the last one left." 

_Well, damn. This sucks! What am I supposed to do now?_ Natsu grumbled to himself as he made his way out of the bathroom and headed towards the bar. Everyone seemed to be paired up. Damn it. He noticed a pair of women that he recognized from other events. A blonde and a redhead, they were tough competition. He felt his competitive streak rear its head and began to examine the other patrons more closely. He saw the smoker sitting at the bar and thought about heading over there, but they hadn't exactly gotten off to a good start. 

Feeling frustrated he sat at the bar and ordered a beer. He didn't understand why you couldn't just have a team of one. 

"Hey, do you know if anyone is looking for a teammate?" he asked the bartender out of desperation. The bartender shook his head. Five minutes left before the game started. 

"This is low even for you, we made these plans a week ago." 

Natsu turned his head toward the angry voice and saw that it was the smoker guy yelling into his phone. 

"I don't care if she finally said she'd go out with you. What am I supposed to do now?" 

Unfortunately, the guy had caught him staring and was now glaring at him. Great. 

"Fuck you, Lyon!" 

Natsu heard a loud thud and saw the smoker glaring at his phone, having apparently slammed it on the bar. Natsu wondered who this Lyon was that had managed to piss the guy off so much. 

Natsu looked around the bar one more time to make sure there really was no one else he could ask. Yep, just his luck. Everyone else was paired off. He looked at the timer on the TV. Two minutes left. He really wanted to play. He looked towards the redhead's table and bristled as she smirked at him. Screw this, what was the worst that could happen? If the guy said no, Natsu would just go home and watch some anime on Hulu. 

He moved himself over to where the smoker was sitting and willed himself to be polite. 

"So, I couldn't help but hear of your situation. I don't suppose you like to play trivia?" Natsu asked in what he thought was a pleasant manner. 

"What's it to you, pinky?" The man glanced at him as he sipped his beer. "I thought you said you could do better." 

"Look time is of the essence here." Natsu pointed at the TV which now read one minute. 

"Ah, I see. So all of a sudden I seem much more attractive to you." He smirked at Natsu. 

Natsu was getting really annoyed. What the hell was wrong with this guy? He could feel his face getting red as it often did when he got outraged. The man looked more amused than concerned. 

"Don't blow a gasket, I'll play. It's not like I have anything else to do." He shrugged his shoulders. "What do I have to do?" 

Natsu grabbed a controller and pushed on the register button while it still read fifteen seconds. "We just have to come up with a Team Name. We have a few minutes, the game won't start for another 30 minutes or so, they just need to have everyone registered before then. My name is Natsu, by the way." 

"Gray," the man introduced himself. They shook hands. "What should we use as a team name?" 

"I don't care, you can choose." Natsu looked at some of the other team names to see if there was anyone else he recognized. 

"You seem to be kind of serious about this," Gray observed." You looked rather upset earlier." 

"You were looking at me?" Natsu asked, somewhat surprised. 

"Well yeah, I've never seen anyone with pink hair before." 

"Yes, it's natural," Natsu responded before he got the inevitable question. "I play every week, but my partner went to the wrong place." 

"Ah. My plans got changed as well, as you might have heard." 

"Uhm, yeah. To be honest, I think everyone heard that. Boyfriend?" 

"Ugh no, brother." Gray rolled his eyes. "Why would you automatically go straight to boyfriend? What makes you think I'm gay?" 

"Your abs. When was the last time you saw a straight guy with abs like that?" Natsu said matter of factly. "I should have guessed brother, only family can make one that crazy." 

"You _were_ checking me out." Gray grinned. 

"Whatever, it's not like I had a choice." Natsu waved him off. "So, team name?" 

"I don't care, I suck at naming stuff. Literally every dog I've ever had has been named Rover," Gray said disinterestedly. "What name do you usually use? Or is that something special with your boyfriend?" 

Natsu snorted. "Hardly, Sting is like my adopted brother." 

"So you _are_ gay!" 

"Stop looking like you won some sort of prize, Princess. I may be gay, but I'm not easy." Natsu snapped. "We usually go by Team Dragon Force." 

Gray began to laugh. "Dragon Force?" 

"Do you want to play or not?" Natsu was beginning to think he had made a mistake asking Gray to be on his team. 

"Relax, Team Dragon Force is fine. Are you any good? I like to win." Gray's eyes flashed as he said this and Natsu recognized the same competitive spirit that he possessed. 

Maybe this would work out after all. Natsu talked as he entered their team information into his phone. "I do all right. The only team I recognize is Team Celestial Swords, that's those two over there. The redhead's tough, her name is Elsa or something. The blonde one does well at the beginning but then tends to fizzle out as she gets drunk. I'm not sure about any of the others." 

Gray nodded as he took in the information. "So how does this work?" 

"It's pretty straightforward, the questions show up on the TV. They're all multiple choice, we use the controller to answer. We get points based on how fast we answer the question correctly." 

"Ok, sounds simple enough. What do we until then?" Gray asked. 

"Are you hungry?" Natsu asked as he grabbed some menus. "Sting and I usually eat a ton of food." He handed a menu over to Gray. Two minutes later he was ordering enough food to tide him over for the two hours of the competition. 

"You didn't have to order so much food, I'm not that hungry," Gray said as he listened to Natsu's order with open-mouthed wonder. 

"Oh, did you want something too?" Natsu looked at him blankly. 

Gray laughed heartily and said, "You are one interesting dude. I don't think you can possibly eat all that by yourself, but I'll go ahead and order something." He put in his order. "So what kind of questions do they ask?" 

'It depends, the categories change every week but it's usually pop culture related. You know - TV, Movies, Sports. Stuff like that. Sometimes there's History, Science and Literature. It depends on what service they subscribe to. Sometimes they have tournaments with all the pubs in town." 

"It sounds like you do this a lot." 

"Yeah, this is pretty much the extent of my social life." Natsu smiled shyly. "Sting drags me out every week, and we play. I've grown to kind of enjoy it." 

"Ah, that explains the look of desperation you had earlier," Gray teased. "Hey look, that table opened up, we should grab it." 

"Yeah, I'll be right there. You want a refill, Princess?" Natsu asked, purposefully trying to irk his new companion. He didn't know why he felt the need to do it, but it was fun. 

Gray looked like he was going to say something but thought better of it, his face morphing into a look that made Natsu a tad nervous. "Sure, I'll take a refill. Salamander." 

Gray looked way too proud of himself when Natsu immediately scowled at the nickname. Natsu slammed the beer bottle on the table in front of Gray and quickly took a swig from his own. 

"A salamander is a small lizard, nothing like a dragon," Natsu pointed out. 

"And a princess is a girl, something I most definitely am not." Gray winked at him. 

Natsu grinned at the response. He liked this guy, he was kind of fun to be around. Their food arrived, and they remained silent as they devoured everything. Soon the announcement came that the game was starting and they both looked at the television as they waited for the first question to pop up. 

The game got underway. There were some issues in the beginning with Gray getting used to the format, and they had a few small arguments over answers, but otherwise, they were having a good time. By the end of the first hour, they were neck and neck with Team Celestial Swords. Any time they would get a small advantage they immediately lost it on the next question. Tempers were flaring as the redhead and the blonde started trying to trash talk them. 

"Grab a straw, cause you guys suck!" The redhead called over to them as her team took the lead. 

"Remember when I asked for your opinion?" Gray immediately snapped back. "Yeah, me either." 

Natsu snickered, and they fist-bumped, but the redhead scowled in their general direction as she realized that Natsu had answered the next question while she was distracted. Natsu smiled at her and made the number one sign with his finger. Gray laughed as he saw what Natsu was doing. 

The redhead spoke to her blonde friend loud enough so that they could hear. "Who left the bag of idiots open?" She looked straight at them. 

"Oh darling, go buy a personality," Natsu responded, annoyed by her continued attempts to provoke them. 

The redhead did not look amused. "Four words for you. Shut the fuck up." 

"Hey, you started it," Gray said dismissively, turning his attention back to Natsu. "If you can't take it then maybe you shouldn't be playing with the big boys." 

"Gray, shut up," Natsu hissed. "You do not want to make her mad. I've seen her beat up guys bigger than you. She's gotten kicked out of as many of these things as I have. If she's here, that probably means she's at her last place too. Let's just play, okay?¨ 

"I did not take you for a coward," Gray growled. 

"I'm not, I'm just not suicidal. You just haven't seen her in action," Natsu said urgently. "She is scaaaary." 

"You know, being a dick won't make yours any bigger," The blonde giggled drunkenly as she pointed her finger at Gray. 

"Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside, bitch." 

"Oh fuck, now you've done it," Natsu said, grabbing Gray by the arm and trying to get him to move. "Never insult the blonde." 

"What did you call her?" The redhead screeched. She stood up so quickly her chair fell backward and slammed to the floor. All the other patrons had stopped playing and were watching the drama unfold with looks of fascination. She made her way over to their table, purpose in every step and hell glowing in her eyes. 

When he couldn't get Gray to move, Natsu stood up and tried to talk to her before she got to Gray, who in his ignorance looked ready to take her on. His shirt had somehow disappeared in the time it took Natsu to get up and try to run interference. "Look, Elsa, he's sorry okay? He didn't know what--" Natsu was not able to finish as the redhead shoved him out of the way, hard. 

He heard her say, "The name is Erza, you idiot," a second before he slammed into the wall. Natsu's head hit hard enough to make a hole in the drywall. He could swear that stars were floating around his head, just like in cartoons and he stopped to look at them for a moment. Natsu tried to collect his wits and make his way back towards Gray, still determined to try to defuse the situation. 

"Get him Erza!" Natsu heard the blonde giggle. _Shitfuck!_ He tried his best to hurry, but his movements were sluggish. All he could do was watch with horror as the girl - Erza, his brain provided helpfully, grabbed Gray by his arm and quickly twisted it behind him. Gray was grimacing with pain at having his arm bent at such an uncomfortable angle. Something inside Natsu snapped, and he managed to run at Erza and jump on her from behind. 

He could see people moving out of the way and saw with relief that the pub's bouncers were coming. This chick was totally psycho. She let go of Gray's arm and quickly turned around, slamming her head back onto his already pounding head and managing to slam him onto Gray's head as well. His head ached uncontrollably, and he succumbed to darkness. 

o-o 

Natsu opened his eyes, only to immediately close them again as the light in the room was overwhelming and painful. There was a hand holding his, and he was confused. The beeping in the room was also making his head pound harder. He let out a small groan. 

"Hey, you finally woke up." Natsu heard a voice say softly. "You scared the crap out of me." 

"Gray?" Natsu asked, keeping his eyes closed. "Man, my head really hurts. Where are we?" 

"We're at Magnolia General," Gray answered. "When you wouldn't wake up the owner of the bar called an ambulance. I rode in it with you. They're keeping you overnight for observation." 

"Are _you_ okay?" Natsu asked with concern, remembering jumping Erza to keep her off Gray. 

"I'm fine, I'm not the one who took on a Valkyrie after demolishing a wall with his head." Gray tutted with concern. "What were you thinking?" 

"She was hurting you," Natsu said with a shrug, then winced at the pain he received from the gesture. Bad move. 

"Dumbass, you didn't need to do that. You just met me, and you tried to warn me," Gray said as he squeezed Natsu's hand. 

"What happened to Erza?" Natsu asked curiously. He tried opening his eyes again, but it was still too much. 

"Hang on, I'll go turn off the light," Gray let go of his hand and got up, Natsu heard his footsteps moving away and returning. "Try opening your eyes again." 

Natsu did and was able to tolerate the ambient light. The only light on in the room was the dim one above his bed. "That's better, thanks." 

"Erza was taken away by the police. They are charging her with assault, they'll come by tomorrow to question you. The blonde was still giggling when they took them away. Unbelievable," Gray shook his head in wonder. 

"I won't press charges," Natsu said, and he meant it. He was just as much to blame for what happened. 

"Are you sure? The doctor who checked you out said you had a nasty concussion. That chick's a menace." 

"Nah, it's fine. Erza's just really competitive, I can relate. Do you know who won?" 

"They never finished the game. I hate to tell you this, but we've been banned from Fairy Heart for the foreseeable future." 

Natsu sighed sadly. "Yeah, I kind of figured." He grinned. "Hey, if they didn't keep playing that means we won!" 

Gray rolled his eyes but smiled. "I guess we did." 

"Well now that I've managed to be banned from every pub in Magnolia that hosts a trivia night, I guess I'm going to have to find something else to do on Thursday nights." 

"Well, there's always me." 

"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" 

"No, I meant _we_ could do something together on Thursdays." Gray became flustered as he realized what he had inadvertently suggested. 

"Oh! Uhm, yeah I'd like that," Natsu replied awkwardly, lacking his usual bravado now that the conversation had turned somewhat serious. He'd been having fun before everything turned ugly. 

"Here," Gray muttered as he handed him a napkin while not quite looking him in the eyes. 

Natsu felt something dripping down the side of his head and moved his hand towards it. He moved his fingers away and noticed they were red and somewhat sticky. 

"Oh man, it looks like your wound opened back up, let me go get a nurse." Gray hastened out of the room. 

Natsu felt the slow drip and applied the napkin he had been given to the bleeding spot and applied pressure. 

A nurse quickly came in to look at his head. She cleaned the wound and bandaged it up again. She warned him about moving too much and left in search of a doctor. 

"You idiot, what did you do?" Gray asked while looking at Natsu's hands. 

Natsu looked at Gray in confusion, not knowing what he was referring to. 

"The napkin, it had my info on it." 

"How was I supposed to know?" Natsu protested. 

"You could have looked at it and seen there was writing on it." 

"It's 2018, who still writes their phone number on a napkin?" 

" _I_ do. It's charming. Anyone can put digits into a phone." 

"Charming?" Natsu looked amused, but his smile was soft. Yes, Gray was indeed charming, not to mention attractive, competitive and very fun to be with. "I guess you are at that, Princess." 

Gray grunted at the nickname but otherwise did not complain. 

A loud commotion could be heard from outside, and it suddenly exploded into the room as Sting pushed the door open and rushed inside. 

"Oh my God, Natsu, what happened?" Sting cried out as he saw Natsu on the hospital bed. "I got a call from the hospital that you were hurt." 

"I'm fine, don't spaz out. Trivia just got a little heated that's all." Natsu tried to ease Sting's obvious panic even as he took in his friend's outfit. Sting was wearing one of his never-ending crop tops - this one was fur lined along with some sort of parachute pants. At least he'd foregone the gloves today. 

"You got banned, didn't you?" Sting looked at him accusingly. "What did you do this time?" 

"I-" Natsu started before being interrupted by Gray. 

"It was my fault really," Gray explained. "Another team was trash talking us, and I got a little carried away." Gray managed to look sheepish, and Natsu could see Sting appraising his new friend. 

He looked back at Natsu with a knowing grin and Natsu flushed a bit - Sting knew him entirely too well. 

"I see you managed to make a new friend," Sting smirked at Natsu, his look an almost telepathic broadcast saying he expected to hear all details at a later time. 

"This is Gray, he agreed to play with me," Natsu said by way of explanation. "Team Celestial Swords was there. The redhead's name is Erza, by the way." He winced as all the talking was making his head hurt even worse. 

Gray noticed Natsu's discomfort and chastened him. "Stop talking so much, idiot. I can tell him what happened just as well as you can." 

Natsu made an appreciative gesture with his hand and remained quiet. 

"Anyway, the blonde started trash talking too, and she pissed me off so I--" 

"Dude! Please tell me you did NOT insult the blonde!" Sting exclaimed, horrified. 

"What is the deal with that?" Gray asked. 

"You see this scar on my eyebrow?" Sting pointed to the three-inch scar. 

Gray nodded. 

"Erza broke a beer bottle on my head after I made a less than complimentary comment about the girl's outfit - and I was one of the lucky ones. That chick needs like anger management or something." 

"You _never_ insult the blonde," Natsu and Sting chorused. 

"Oh, well. I guess we'll have to come up with something else to do next Thursday." Sting furrowed his brow as he thought about possibilities. "How do you feel about karaoke?" 

"Uhm, actually... I already have plans with Gray for next week, Sting." Natsu coughed uncomfortably. He saw Gray smile out of the corner of his eye and felt a warmth spread inside his chest. Natsu was really looking forward to getting to know him better. 

Sting practically radiated relief. "Oh thank fuck, I'd already made plans with Rogue." He grinned sheepishly. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a lot of fun to write. I'd never really tried to do a funny one-shot before, I hope you like it! Sorry if any of it is cringey.


End file.
